A difficulty for many children, but especially for immigrant children, is carrying the load of family hopes and expectations. This can lead to friction between who we are expected to be and who we actually are. For a female from Nigeria, I had to balance the belief that a good daughter doesn’t disrupt the family with my own desire for independence. It helps to think about what carrying the burden has taught yourself. Also, ask yourself what you really want. Many people wrongly use the wants and desires of others to determine what they think they want.
- he idea of having a load you are destined to carry, even if you’re not sure you want to carry it…I can’t think of a more spiritual quest than this.
- For the immigrant family, this code of ethics is often vital to our survival. If we all don’t support each other, who will? But really…who will?
- It’s possible to love where you are from and yet want to be free of the expectations you must carry, and sometimes it’s necessary to let it all go.
“Often, we find that there’s unreconciled feelings, a trauma here or there, grief, and a firm belief in what is right versus what isn’t.”